Several weeks ago I had the opportunity to spend several days in both North and South Carolina. I attended a conference with many of our staff and was challenged and inspired. We visited several church gatherings that weekend and again was challenged and inspired.

During one of those evening gatherings, the Pastor said something which has been running through my head ever since…… The message was about relationships and as a single person, how do you handle your personal expectations for relationships, etc. And the question was posed;

It is possible to be successfully single?

I wrote that thought down, with all my other notes, but I kept coming back to that. Am I successfully single? What does that even mean? Is it possible to be successful in a relational status?


If I’m being honest, I’ve never thought singleness was something to even strive to be ‘successful’ at. I’ve heard people talk about success in professional life, I’ve heard it referenced for marriage – but never thought about it pertaining to a single ‘status’. I was, and am still challenged by this concept. There are many days I see my singleness as something to be ‘waited out’, endured until that someday where my status would change and THEN I’d work to be successful in that… But what about now?

As I’ve been thinking about this, the concept of success… I came across an article where it talked about common traits that all ‘successful’ people seem to have. They are as follows:

1. Passion: Love what you do
2. Work: Really hard
3. Focus: On one thing, not everything
4. Push: And keep on pushing yourself
5. Ideas: Come up with some good ones
6. Improve: Keep improving yourself and what you do
7. Serve: Serve others something of value
8. Persist: Because there is no overnight success
*LifeHacker: 8 common traits of successful people

These 8 words: Passion. Work. Focus. Push. Ideas. Improve. Serve. Persist seem so big, so involved…. and lots of work! I think in most cases, success doesn’t just happen, it’s the result of all those thing – working together. As I look at the list of words, I can see many of those being worked out in my professional world… But with my single-status, I don’t see many, a few – but there’s no intentionality to me even attempting to be known as a successful single.

I’ve said before that I believe life is a journey…. And there are many ups and downs, successes and failures, things improved on and things still needing improvement. I don’t want to just bide my time, living my life just waiting out this season, enduring…. I want to look at my life – now, in this season, and the ones to come, and say I am being successful, or at least attempting.

So I definitely have work to do – but with anything in life, it’s a process – to make any progress! So I’ll take one step forward at a time, leaning into God. To live: with passion, working to keep moving forward. To focus on things and people that are worth my time. To push forward and not settle! To pursue creative ideas and new experiences. To improve my character, my budget, my life (physically, spiritually, mentally). To serve and give unconditionally and to be persistent in pursuit of my God, His plans for my life and me!