The last few weeks I’ve seen a few movies where there’s a scene following a main character death and all those come side by side to honor their passing. They stand along the shore line, somber, taking in the seriousness of this life’s frailty. Everyone thinking. Watching. Waiting. Lost in their own thoughts and memories. Then the master of ceremonies pushes the funeral pyre into the water and at just the right moment the archer lights the arrow, pulls the strings back then releases it. The flaming arrow fly’s and the pyre lights, and so to with it, the hopes, dreams, the thoughts of what their life would’ve been, the future of…. everything – comes to an end, burns away to nothingness. These moments for me have been so emotional and so convicting – in a way.
Not emotional because of loss, death, reminders of pain and tears, but for the other things it brings up in my world…
Since my moms passing (almost 7 weeks ago) I’ve been much more intentional about my life, about the things, the people and relationships, thoughts and perspectives, emotions and feelings, conversations – all that I allow to exist in my life. As I’ve thought about those things, allowing them to be and occasionally ‘own’ my life, I’ve been challenged. As I’ve watched these dramatic movie scenes, I’ve been feeling that’s so representative of a few things in my world and realize… It’s time, to make some change.
As I’ve watched these oftentimes breathtaking scenes, the amazing soundtrack playing behind, I feel almost transported, like I’m the one who’s standing on the shoreline, seeing the thing, (that hope, dream, the thoughts of what life could’ve been, the future…) – lying on the funeral pyre… oftentimes already dead, in the water…
BUT I’ve been hesitant to play out my role as Master of Ceremony, the one, standing here, not signaling its release! I’ve been standing here holding the rope – keeping the pyre and all the things that need to be pushed away, (and set on fire,) tethered to the shore, to my life! I am fully aware that my standing here, holding this will not bring life back. I know that the only release, the only life any of these things can have – is in the fire, death and movement away.
In my ‘honest moments’ – I confess I’ve been back and forth with some of this. I keep crossing my fingers, hoping for the best, praying for a miracle, a change of heart, that the “potential” I see will come to life… And yes, occasionally there’s no-harm in holding these things – for awhile, but the I’ve been discovering that you reach a point where no amount of time – of standing on this shore, brings any life to them.
So now, more than ever, I’m feeling it’s time for me to push the dead things away, signal for the archer to light the arrow and set the pyre on fire.
Yes, there will be loss.
Yes, there will be pain.
And yes, there may be tears….
But in the end, the freedom that comes in that moment – the moments of release – will be more life-giving than I can ever even begin to imagine!
If you haven’t seen either Thor or First Knight, here are the clips from the scenes, referenced above…