Daring Greatly…

If you’ve been on planet earth and part of society at all in the past few years the name Brene Brown and the phrase “daring greatly” has probably crossed your path.

I wouldn’t say that my life has required me to “dare greatly” – in it’s everyday experiences, but sometime you do things, that looking back, you say… “What made me do that? Perhaps it was my moment of daring, greatly!”

So here’s the story… where I wouldn’t have said I made the conscience effort or choice to “dare greatly” but considering after, it was either daring….. or just crazy!

So a few weeks ago I had decided to have a quiet evening, pick up dinner from my favorite take-out place, get a movie and just chill at home. I stopped to get dinner and while I was there, noticed a guy, talking to the hostess about how long the wait would be, that he didn’t want to take up a whole table – because it was ‘just him’, and asking what was “good” as he hadn’t been there before. He and I exchanged smiles then I headed out the door. I walked back to my car, hopped in and sat there for a few moments, debating with myself if I should go back in and ask what his story was. I decided against it and headed to towards home.

The further I drove the more my heart was racing and kept wondering what his story was and if I didn’t go back and ask him about it – I’d always wonder…… I turned the car around and drove back – praying he wouldn’t be there… but at the same time that he would be.

photo1I parked my car. Walked back to the door, pushed it open, looked to the place where he had been standing and he wasn’t there. I assumed my 10 minutes of not being there was long enough for him to go. I took a deep breath, turned around and there he was. My heart stopped. He looked at me, smiled and said, “Hey.” – which then launched me into my “Hi. So I have a quick question… are you single? I saw you earlier and just wanted to make sure you were ok…” He looked confused. He mentioned something about not really being single, but kind of… I smiled, said ok, have a nice evening, then turned and walked out the door.

He followed.

He stopped me in the parking lot and asked what “that was…” to which I responded saying that I saw him earlier, thought it was odd thata nice looking guy (not wearing a ring) was out to dinner by himself on a Friday night… so just wanted to make sure he was ok. We had a 10 minute conversation that went from him “feeling bad” to telling me he was “trying to get out of a relationship” and asking for my number so we could do dinner/movie sometime. I’m sure it was an interesting conversation to watch and I wish I could’ve stepped back to see it! I confessed I had never done anything like this before (and probably wouldn’t again), but that although I had come back, the fact that he was still ‘kind-of in a relationship’ that I was not going to be “that girl who breaks up another couple…” so I wished him a nice evening, a delicious dinner and great weekend and walked away!

So that’s the story.photo[1]

The crazy thing was I felt normal. Calm. Not frustrated or embarrassed as I thought I would’ve been if/when the conversation went this way, and not the way I had hoped!

I drove home. Ate dinner. Watched my movie and had a great night.

Interesting story?! I think so…. But besides it just being a fascinating story in my life – it was an eye-opener for me. I realized a few things about myself:

-we were both (I think) flattered. He, that I came back to talk to him. And me, because 1) he followed me out the door, 2) he asked for my number (even if I couldn’t give it to him!)
-I was confident and didn’t have to talk myself into it… I just was. I knew who I was and why I was asking questions.
-I didn’t allow fear, of rejection (or any other conversation in my head) to talk me out of going back, of asking the questions. *remember, I drove away then drove back. (who does that?!)
-I asked the question, because I wanted an answer and to not wonder, “what if?”
-I walked away from an offer of something because I wasn’t compromising what I think is right.
-I kept my boundaries, not wanting to be “that girl who was the cause/reason” for his breakup.

Would I do it again? Probably.
Was it crazy? Maybe, haven’t decided.
Was it daring? I think it was because it’s not something I do everyday and honestly, the “risk” was high, but worth it. That short interaction taught me much about myself… and has the potential to have impacted his life as well.

I’m a sucker for happy endings… And I’d love to say that things worked out. That he miraculously found me saying he ended his other relationship and I’m “the one” for him…. However, that is not the case. It could be someday, but not right now.

MY story is making the most of every interaction, encounter, conversation because it affects who I ultimately become and how my storyline plays out! It’s the small things that I do. The things I choose to see, hear, look for and live out. ALL those things make life beautiful. Daring. Full. And if experiences like that are what it takes to alter, to shape who I am….. watch out world – cause I’m about to dare even more…. maybe even greatly!!!